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Is it wrong to wish you death?
Is it wrong to wish you pain?
Why is it when I stare
I see your face in the pouring rain

All I feel is the cruelty
And slowly I burn,
with smoldering hatred
Retribution, so I yearn

It comes and it goes
The more I try to forget
It surprises me with its strength
Sneaking up bit by bit

How dare you claim that you "hardly blame" me
When the blame rests solely on you
Why did you abandon me?
Never mind, that's just what you do

There are no answers that will explain
The words you spoke, my rage to tame
You hated the outcome that it felt wrong
But with you, it's always the same song

You never meant to hurt me and never wanted to
But it seems that's all you've ever done
And all you'll ever do

You step up, tell me trust you and just believe
Then when I finally do just that, you up and leave

Hot or cold it's all the same
I end up betrayed
Always the same apology
This is the trap you laid

Claiming I'm seeing it black and white
You put the blame on me
I'm standing up for what's right
You're so blind you cannot see

You claim it's torture to look in the mirror
But it never seemed to end
Always the same fear
And I never got to mend

It wasn't you crying for what you've done
It was always me
You were always on the run
Can't trust you to see

Every time I close my eyes and try to let go
I hear your words replay
Crocodile tears you show
Don't stand the light of day

So you've robbed me of the trust I had
And made me ever wary
I'd say it's to bad
But on your actions you'd not tarry.
** Updated to fix some serious rhythm and rhyme issues that made the poem almost unreadable to me**

This was written a while ago.. At a crossroads for me. Not one of my better moments.
Add a Comment:
Orec12 Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Wow! This is very to the point. Just a question, but were you inspired to write this after a bad relationship? I only ask as I recently came a cropper from a young lady who I thought was on the same page as me. Turns out she wasn't :(

I know what you mean about the hatred and the resentment. Feeling as though your being made to shoulder the blame for the disaster, even when the true responsibility rested elsewhere. Sharing your heart with someone you thought you could trust and falling for their lies when they tell you how they feel exactly the same, even when they so very don't!... Ahem. Sorry, got a bit carried off there! ;)

Anyway, superb piece. I can't give you a decent critique for I am not skilled in literature enough. All I will say is that it's packed with true emotion that grasps you the minute you read. It's honest in it's delivery and refuses to sacrifice it's message. This sort of writing is one of my favourites as it gets straight to the point rather than baffle and confuse. I will therefore add this to my favourites, forthwith! :)
Ferelwing Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
:huggle: Actually, this was more about a friendship that went really sour.. A close friend whom I thought I could trust.. But realized after the fact I'd made a BIG mistake. BIG BIG mistake.

:nod: Is fine, I know exactly how you feel though because I've also been there too. :huggle: Not a fun experience.

I'm really glad you liked it and I'm really glad you could relate on one level and on another really sad you've had to experience it :huggle:.
Orec12 Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Not to worry. Eventually the hurt stops... Eventually ;)
KirstenLane Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2012
"It's not me it's you..." that's more common than people relize. :heart:
Ferelwing Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
:nod: Very very true
LostChronicle Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2010
Ugh! Pearls before swine! :tighthug: I wish I had the chance to talk to you face to face, even if it was for only a minute or two! You are an incredible person in your anguish, which marks a very extraordinary personality, I think!
Ferelwing Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2010  Professional Digital Artist
:huggle: Thanks sweetheart that means a lot to me. I'm sorry it took me so long to respond.. Busy.. Yeah that's pretty much all I've been. I feel like there's not enough time in the day.
DragonsChest Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2010  Professional Writer
I am glad to hear that the state of mind has resumed control... :lol:
Ferelwing Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2010  Professional Digital Artist
:nod: Things are getting back to an even "relaxed" tone.
DragonsChest Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2010  Professional Writer
Good to hear that Li... :hug:
sasunaru16 Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
I really like the last line <3 :)
Ferelwing Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2010  Professional Digital Artist
:huggle: Thanks. It just kind of came to me.
zoeylavender Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2010
It is powerful, is it meant to be in a form of rap?
Ferelwing Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2010  Professional Digital Artist
Not originally but I think you have a point that it could be read as one. :huggle: Thanks, I'm really glad you enjoyed it!
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Submitted on
July 10, 2010
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