The Broken Patterns in my headI have broken patterns in my headFighting between living and wanting to be deadI win the fight every single dayNo matter what, I choose to stayThe burning pain that sears insideThe emotions that I try to hideI wear a mask to keep it all awayKeep the horded masses at bayFaking the the smile I hide the painClose my eyes and wish for rainStanding up straight, I am strongRefusing to cower, fighting against what's wrongWish that I could break freeFind a new way to be..I talk of renewal and change so muchBut I've only ever felt the softest touchThe circles I follow, they come back aroundThe same arguments, the same
Keep it all awayKeep the heart away.. Break it, shred it, descimate it..Easier to tolerate a heart that doesn't work.. Right?I am bitter inside.. Angry? No.. Just bitter..Anger left me so long agoI've almost forgotten what it feels likeWhite hot wasn't it?No that can't be right...Perhaps you could expound on it... No..Wait.. Did I forget to care?Hollow the words resonate inside meThat's all they are.. Words.. Actions speak louderWords that I once believed in... GoneNothing left..I burned up and burned out..I keep the spirit alive.. On a respirator.. GroundedLonging to find some place to finally give it all up..Maybe I'm waitin
Running scaredRunning scared through the woods, the rains pouring downHunted like a rabbit.. Left, right, down.. Duck..Don't let them catch me.. Heart beats faster as I realizeagain.. Alone..So very alone...Facing the enemy, nothing and no one to trust.. Realizing that at any moment it might be me.. Lying face down in the ditch..Hide and seek.. I prefer to seek...Still.. It's my turn to hide.Rapidly the footsteps approach..I crouch.. Heart racing.. Hoping it won't be heard over the pitterpatter of the rains..Heavy as they fall..Lighting streaks into the skyFear beats, has it given me away..Duck my head down feel the cold A
Bow for NoneI tilt my head back and close my eyesLonging for the rain that never comes..It's not crying if it's raining.. It's just raindrops..Why won't it storm when I need it?I could hide it all behind the dropletsLet them cover for my weaknesses..I long for the sound of the thunderThe brilliant flashes of lightWalking in the raging storm Releasing the emotions wound so tightly..Emotions that I could never fully express..I shudder inside as I try to regain control..Broken pieces.. Lost parts.. Nothing fits together..Who to trust.. Where to listen? All the words jumbleAnd I stare at my own mind's image..Hollow.. Weak.. Path
Rocks Don't cryI close my eyes and look at my soulJust the pits of disaster insideI could walk away from it allLet it burn to the groundBurn the bridges and never look back..Close my eyes and become someone elseBut.. it's nothing, a dream.. I could never..All the things, those scars, painsMine, me.. I am those.. Nothing moreEverytime I try to shield myself I break inside.. Little by little the cracksthey come.. Peeking out at me.. WeaknessTears that long to be shed..Never...I am a rock.Rocks don't cry. Even when they long to.Even when there's no other way...No tears.. I will shed nothing.
Nothing or Am IEmotions failed meBelief? Gone...Everytime I stand upI fall back downThe same fightsThe circles keep returningGoing back and forth No end in sightIf I fight?Nothing..I am nothing.. Or am I?